I've been unable to write anything recently, somehow my focus moved to more serious matters. I have to admit I am learning to appreciate what I've got now instead of wanting stuff that I cannot have/afford. I stopped being worried about small things that used to make me stressed, anxious or irritated, like unpaid bills, frizzy hair on a rainy day, being late for work. I just don't care anymore, life is to short to worry yourself over stupid matters like that. What's changed then? Well, my Mum is ill, she's fighting for her life and I still do not know if I fully understand how serious her state is... I know that not many people will read this, so it's easier to just let these horrible fears out here without being recognised and felt sorry for. I am trying to be brave, I hold back tears, I do not let this worry to be visible to anyone, because I need to be strong. Since I live so far away from my parents, I cannot be there. I went there recently for a week, it was painful to see my Mum so thin, weak.. She can barely eat, 2 teaspoon of yoghurt make her full. To look into her eyes is so hard, there is so much hope there, hope and fear at the same time.
Life is so precious, but so fragile. Prayer and undying hope for the better hold me together. I wish there was a way to beat that cancer, that bastard that destroys so many lives unnecessarily.. Be strong, be brave, be bold and do not let the hope go...
Lots of love xxx
